A Central Massachusetts family’s journey through foster care

Julie and Patrick, foster parents from Massachusetts, welcomed a set of infant twins into their home just before Christmas. Over two and a half years, they provided stability, love, and a foundation for healing, not only for the children but for the birth family as well. As the twins prepare to reunify with relatives, Julie reflects on the lessons, challenges, and rewards of fostering.

In this Q&A, she shares what inspired their family to open their home, how they found support, and what she wants others to know about the foster care system.

Q: From what I understand, you're concluding your time as a foster parent to a set of twins. How do you believe those children benefited from living in your home?

A: Our twins—a boy (J) and a girl (G)—came to our home two and a half years ago, at just two months old. Their first month was spent in the NICU due to drug exposure in utero. The next month, they were moved through three different homes. Most days were spent in car seats, constantly in transit, while their birth parents struggled with addiction, domestic violence, and homelessness.

They arrived at our home two days before Christmas, after DCF removed them from a hotel room where adults were using various substances. They were dirty, tired, wearing mismatched clothes, and emitting a strong odor. The caseworker said J cried nearly the entire drive, and G was completely shut down, barely making a sound or eye contact.

Today, they are completely transformed: joyful, confident toddlers who have known one stable, loving home with a mom, dad, and big sister. The stability, love, and security they’ve experienced have made a profound difference.

We’ve also intentionally extended love and compassion to their biological parents. Their father, himself a product of the DCF system, has carried deep trauma. I believe seeing his children safe and loved in our care gave him space to begin healing.
As they prepare for reunification, we’re praying for a continued relationship—and that we can keep “being Jesus” to their family as they move forward.

Q: What prompted you to explore becoming a foster parent?

A: I’ve known for years that infertility would be part of my story, and God gave me a heart for the foster system early on. Patrick shared that calling, especially a concern for sibling sets, so often separated due to a lack of space in emergency placements.

But even with the burden on our hearts, we initially said “no” to fostering. I feared the heartbreak if it didn’t lead to adoption.

Eventually, we started down the path of adoption, but one day in a small group Bible study, another foster mom said something that struck me deeply. She said: “We adopt every child who can’t reunify, but we always remember: for every adoption, there’s a broken family—and that grieves the heart of God.”

That moment changed everything. I realized fostering isn’t about us, or even about adoption. It’s about being Jesus to others—parents, children, families. I regret waiting so long with the wrong mindset, but I’m grateful God pursued me.

Now, we’re watching a family come back together—and we’ve had the privilege of being part of that story.

Q: What resources helped you decide whether to foster?

A: The DCF process can be overwhelming. The system is stretched thin, and many people give up halfway through. We chose to go through an agency called Boys Town, and that made all the difference.

They made every step more manageable and were available 24/7. There are other agencies like them that can help families navigate the process with support.

We also found strength through community—other foster families from Boys Town and our church walked alongside us. Most importantly, Jesus was at the center. Our church family, homeschool group, and Bible Study Fellowship community rallied around these children in love.

Q: Once you decided to foster, what did the preparation process look like?

A: Amazon Prime was my best friend, and thankfully, I had hoarded baby gear from our miracle pregnancy that I hadn’t gotten rid of yet! Boys Town walked us through everything. After paperwork and training, they helped us set realistic parameters and filtered placement requests accordingly. We told them we were open to sibling sets younger than our daughter, who was four at the time. That helped match us with a placement we were truly ready for.

Q: Did you have a support network as a foster mom?

A: Absolutely. Our main contact at Boys Town is herself a seasoned foster mom. She and her husband have adopted five children from the system and also run a ministry called Bags of Hope, which delivers embroidered duffle bags full of gifts to foster children at Christmas. Her encouragement and support were invaluable.

We also connected with other foster families through our church and gathered monthly during our first year. It was a blessing not only to us but to the children, too.

Q: Was your experience with state agencies positive overall?

A: DCF is often seen as cold or hard to work with, but that wasn’t our experience. By starting with Boys Town, we were shielded from some of the initial bureaucracy. When the twins arrived, Boys Town workers came before DCF, helped us settle in, and stayed until the babies were bathed, dressed, and we were comfortable.

After that, our DCF caseworkers were consistently supportive and compassionate. The people who stay in that job do it because they care. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t believed all the negative stereotypes. If you’ve reached the point of welcoming a child into your home, the caseworkers want you to succeed—they need you.

Q: What should Massachusetts residents know about the foster care system?

A: There’s a lot of heart in the system that people don’t see. We've worked with the same office for two and a half years, and several caseworkers—one of whom has become a lifelong friend. These workers truly care for the children, but burnout is high, and resources are limited.

The media tends to spotlight the worst stories, but we’ve seen the good. Without DCF’s intervention, J and G wouldn’t be where they are today—on their way to a reunified, healing family.

Q: What qualities do you believe someone needs to foster? Can single parents foster?

A: Absolutely—single parents can foster! One of our dear friends is a single foster mom to a teen girl, and it’s the perfect match. Fostering isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being loving and flexible. These kids have unique needs and traumas. What they need most is patient, compassionate care.

Q: What expenses does the state cover, and how do foster parents track costs?

A: Through Boys Town, we received a daily stipend per child that’s about double the standard DCF rate. We also got quarterly clothing stipends, annual funds for birthdays and Christmas, and reimbursement for visitation travel (we drove 1.5 hours each way at one point).

The children’s medical and dental care is fully covered through MassHealth, and they are eligible for free in-state college tuition. We didn’t need daycare, but vouchers are available. If you have concerns, reach out to an agency, they may have solutions for the barriers you’re worried about.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to share?

A: About two months into placement, we were told the twins might eventually be adopted by relatives who hadn’t stepped in to foster. That hit me hard—I was angry and wanted to walk away.

But in that moment, I heard clearly from God: “You can.”

These children are victims of others’ choices. Someone needs to grieve the loss they’ve endured—the loss of stability, of innocence, of “normal.” Their parents and relatives often can’t do that while in crisis. So we carry that weight for them.

We’re now about three weeks away from saying goodbye. We’ll miss them every day. There will be grief. But there’s also great joy in knowing they’re going home to a family that’s on the path to healing. We were blessed to witness it—and to be a small part of that transformation.

Claire’s story: Saying yes to foster care in Massachusetts

It's an honor to be asked to share my story, but it makes me apprehensive. I always joke that while my life is always interesting, there isn't much that people would want to hear.

My husband, Matt, and I accepted our first foster care placement in December 2020. We were nervous but as prepared as we could be, which we quickly discovered was almost entirely unprepared, but we said yes to two young boys coming into our family.

The social worker showed up, lined our hallway with bags and bags of clothes, toys, food, etc., and gave me the boys—a baby who was fast asleep in a car seat and a toddler brother who looked scared. She looked around the house and asked, "Have you got any other kids of your own?" I told her no. She laughed and said, "Good luck," as she walked out the door.

Somehow, we managed. I called my mother, who came over and helped me sort through everything.
Over the next few months, Matt and I learned how to juggle the kids, the trauma, and the visits from social workers, lawyers, and doctors.

Once we started, it didn't seem so scary anymore. On the tough days and in the challenging moments, I would look at those boys and see their smiles and the trust slowly building. Even though it was hard, and some days seemed impossible to continue, it was the right thing. We were doing the right thing.

Compared to our first placement, our second started with nothing. It was 2022. We still had the boys and finally felt ready for a third child. We got a late-night call for a baby girl. By this time, we knew many social workers and were familiar with her. The social workers gave me a call on their way over. They said, "Claire, prep the bath. This baby is filthy. We didn't get any clothes or toys. You wouldn't want anything from that house. I hope you have something there that will work for tonight." The social workers took the baby first to the hospital for a checkup, and then they dropped off a pretty baby wearing only a diaper they had gotten from the hospital. They gave us a $25 gift card.

Whatever that baby had been through—no one will ever really know the full extent—was enough for her not to sleep well. She was with us for only a summer before going to her grandmother, and during that time, she never slept longer than an hour and a half. But honestly, she was so sweet and had the happiest disposition that I didn't even mind. I'd be sleep-deprived for that girl anytime!

After her, our subsequent placement came at the end of September, with many respites and calls we said no to in between. We got a call for a six-month-old boy (he was nine months old) who had lived most of his life in the closet. DCF had been following the family for years and had no idea another baby had been born there.

He was dehydrated, malnourished, his muscles so weak he had little movement and no control. His primary care doctor had us waiting for over a month before we could give him anything but formula for fear he would choke.

The first time he laughed, he had been with us for about a month and a half to two months. He was so startled and afraid of the sound and the feeling that he cried.

The following year, our boys from the first placement, who had lived with us for two years, reunited with their mom. They took a significant chunk of our hearts with them when they left. I will never forget the baby who came in the carrier, now a three-year-old, waving out the window and saying, "I'm going to miss you guys."

I will never forget how they came back a year later with more trauma and sadness and less trust for anyone, as scared as anything. They were dropped off at my work, and the older boy whispered to his brother, "That's our mama! Remember our mama?"

The baby said he did not - he's got the personality of a grumpy older man – but as soon as we pulled up to our house, he knew. "This is my home!" he cried. "I love my home."

While they were away, we had taken in four girls—three sisters of the closet baby and another who was weeks away from returning to her mom. We had to seek special approval to have so many kids and rearrange the bedrooms, but the joy I felt at having my boys safe was worth anything.

Here's the truth about foster care: all the stories are true - the hurt, the trauma, the behaviors, the broken system, the negligent foster parents, the overwhelmed and sometimes uncaring social workers. You will be exposed to the horrors of humanity and the mistreatment of the most vulnerable.

But it also wakes you up. I have never understood love and forgiveness as well as I do now. I have seen what God cries out to be fixed and stopped. And I have never understood his unfailing and forever forgiving love for me so well.

Foster care forces you to completely surrender to Jesus, trusting he loves those kids more than you do. I cannot even count how many times I have thrown myself at his feet, begging for mercy and aid.

There is nothing easy about foster care.

I do not fear loving and losing. What I do fear is that there are more children out there who don't know love at all, have never experienced it, and do not know His name.

The call to foster care is not easy, but it is needed. Good foster homes are rare—more rare than they should be. Too many children go without security, safety, and love.

We are the pro-life movement. We are the people who do something. We are the people who don't look away from injustices but towards them, working to right them.

We are the pro-life movement. If not us fighting for the vulnerable, then who? Every child deserves to have someone in their corner.

Are you strong enough to be the bridge? Are you strong enough to stand in the gap? It takes more strength to turn away than it does to help.

Be the plot twist that changes a child's story. We are all capable; we need only say yes.
And let God do the rest.