My father didn’t do anything unusual. He only did what dads are supposed to do—be there. -Max Lucado
A congenial middle-aged fellow grins gently in black and white, his 5x7 gracing our mantle. He’s no blood relative but, like good St. Joseph, Porter became the pillar of my mother’s family, faithful protector and Depression-era provider. A Protestant, he initially opposed his daughter’s union with the scrappy Irish Catholic who stole her heart. But as grandchildren arrived, he softened and was there, enriching their childhoods as he had enriched my mother's.
Porter died of a heart attack before I was born. “He sure would have gotten a kick out of you!” My dad mentioned that to me a few times over the years, shaking his head and smiling at the thought. I never knew whether to be flattered or offended.
Dad also took every opportunity to remind my siblings and me as we stepped out the door, “Remember. You’re a Maloney, and you’re Catholic.” While I’m pretty sure none of us paid much attention in the moment – or understood why he thought our surname meant anything – his words sunk in. Mostly.
He was there when I stumbled through awkward and humiliating teenage drama just as he was when I flew high over the rubble. But it’s what he said during the low points that I remember and now repeat often to my own children: “Keep your chin up.” Neither Proverb nor poetry, these four little words, with a Marine’s commanding inflection, always seem to do the trick. Dad’s voice might be gone, but his words prove his presence and come in handy – especially when it comes to pro-life advocacy in Massachusetts.
Fathers speak priceless wisdom in ways that are endearing, plucky, thought-provoking, witty, and, it seems, universally repetitious. I wasn’t 100% certain about the repetitive tendency. Was it just my dad who had a couple go-to sayings that seemed stale by the time adolescence arrived? I asked a few of our supporters across the state, guys who, by their witness, represent what fatherhood is really all about: being there for those who are dependent. Here are a few of their oft repeated yet invaluable contributions:
"Protect and respect all the women in your life." - Larry, Waltham
“I was drawing a blank on this, so I texted my kids and asked them. Here’s what my daughter wrote: ‘The greatest lesson you've given me is how you treated mom. Even in the rare fights I always saw you apologize (even if you weren't in the wrong). Your dedication to her and being an amazing dad . . . taught me what to look for in a husband and is the reason I didn't settle.’” - Jerry, Agawam
“No man should have sex with a woman he isn't committed to for life, and the children they create together.” - Michael, Hampden
“I like to say ‘pray, hope, and don’t worry.’ (Short form of the Padre Pio prayer: ‘Pray, hope and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.')” - Paul, Milford
"I asked my dad why there were so many kids in our family, and he said, 'I could have had a million dollars or a bunch of kids, and you can't hug your money.' I never forgot that." - Jim, remembering his dad Harold, Holyoke
“‘Family is the future.’ We’ve been telling our 5 kids to be intentional in their thinking about growing a future family. Our 19-year-old finds himself intentionally dating and has met a girl who shares his vision for 12 children!” - Michael King, President, Massachusetts Family Institute
“When I talk with my 20-year-old son Danny, who has diverse abilities, and to other parents and people, I always speak to them with these three reminders:
‘Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.’ George Addair The Sovereignty of God.
‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.’ James 1:19
‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.’” Ephesians 3:20
- Steve Ovalle, Executive Director, Pregnancy Care Center Northeast
"My dad had a colorful way of saying how important it is to do things the right way, don't cut corners, always do quality work. I've done my best to pass this on first to my kids, and now my grandkids, with all of us wanting to make Great Grandpa Joe proud." - Joe, South Chatham
“‘I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse; therefore, CHOOSE LIFE, that you and your descendants may live.’” Deuteronomy 30:19 - Ken Nordeen, co-founder of Choose Life Massachusetts, Inc. (Have you bought your license plate yet?)
“‘Pray more, serve others, love everyone and forgive freely.’ These aren't just good habits—they’re the path to holiness. Live them, and we grow into the men and women God created us to be. If that is the foundation, all else will fall into place. If there's one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being present—truly present—is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children.” - Mark, Quincy
Your Presence & Support: Introducing a Foster Care & Adoption Initiative
As Massachusetts’ oldest and largest right-to-life organization, we are committed to defending the value of every human life, especially unborn children. Every child deserves protection and the opportunity to thrive beyond the womb. Of critical importance, too, is our commitment to bring peace of mind to women facing crisis pregnancies, assuring them that their babies will be cared for, safe, and cherished.
Our foster and adoption initiative aims to recruit compassionate, dedicated individuals who will provide safe, loving homes for the state’s 8,500 foster children or who will volunteer to serve foster parents. Though our mission is ambitious, we understand that being pro-life means supporting children and mothers beyond birth. This undertaking is the first of its kind in our 52-year history. It’s well past time we commit the resources to children and foster parents in our communities. This web component is an admittedly small first step. I hope you will take it with us though. Read more and learn how to get involved. Watch for updates and new opportunities in the coming months.
Here’s to being there as fathers or their indebted sons and daughters, grateful for the life they gave to us. Enjoy your Father's Day weekend.
Myrna
P.S. - Join us for “The Other Side of Choice: Men and Abortion,” our June 26 cost-free webinar featuring Jeff Joaquin, a nationally recognized speaker who brings a raw and rarely heard perspective to the abortion conversation: that of a father.
P.P.S. - Former White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany quipped on her Fox News Outnumbered program that, with a third baby girl due any day, her husband is about to be very much “outnumbered.” See Kayleigh in person at our annual banquet on Friday, September 26! Reserve your seats now.