Placing For Adoption...Because That's Freedom to Choose

Caroline was thirty years old when she found out she was pregnant for a second time.  She had been in the military. She had done a lot of things that were risky, and made a lot of decisions she wouldn't have advised a daughter to make.

Yet she was shocked when she saw that she was pregnant again; and she was terrified .   She had broken up with the father of her child, and her son at the time was only seven years old.  Because she primarily raised Josh alone, she knew how difficult it was. She knew how much she could offer -- and she didn't think it was enough.

She knew her daughter deserved more than a single-parent home.

Caroline attended a Bible study at that time and there she met a woman who told her about open adoption. She learned very quickly that open adoption could be an empowering and life-affirming choice.  Even though Caroline felt terrified, she felt better knowing she could give her daughter a better life than she could offer on her own. 

The adoption center she was referred to was located not far away, in San Diego, CA. 

With a leap of courage, Caroline contacted them. Soon she was meeting with the adoption director, with whom she shared her fears, concerns, and, most importantly, heard about the resources for her in her challenging situation. Finally, she heard one of the most amazing options--adoption, an open adoption, one where she could have contact with her child, while also letting her child grow up with the two parent home she couldn't give.

She couldn't understand exactly, but she left the adoption center feeling happier than she had in months

Both she, and her tiny daughter, she realized, could be cared for. 

At seven months pregnant, Caroline got to choose the couple who seemed best-suited to care for her daughter.  In fact, it was less than five minutes after meeting them that Caroline knew they were the ones.  

"Mark and Bethany are perfect; there are simply no other words to describe them," she has said again and again. And it's true.

Caroline has described Mark as being everything she ever wanted in a father herself.  Caroline adored Bethany from the start, and for good reason. "She's like the sister I never had. Bethany was meant to be a mother. I'm so proud I was able to give [her] the gift motherhood."

We all want the best for our children. But we don't always feel we have the resource - or the options - to care for them the way we want to. We certainly don't always have the ideal situation. Yet Caroline can say with 100% certainty that she gave her daughter the absolute best when she placed her with Mark and Bethany.  Caroline refers to the adoption like this: “Unlike abortion, I didn’t lose my baby:  I gained a family through open adoption, and so can you.” 

 

After the placement of her daughter, Caroline completed her Bachelor’s degree.  She also reconnected with her old friend, Chad, whom she met in Japan while serving in the United States Air Force.  Chad and Caroline began dating a few years ago and are now married; they currently live in Virginia with Caroline’s son, Josh, and their dog, Sparky.  Since placing her daughter four years ago Caroline has been sharing her adoption story to bring awareness to the process of open adoption,  and to help women facing an unplanned pregnancy make an empowering life affirming choice. 

 

Caroline has shared her story at the San Diego Walk for Life, was invited to speak at numerous Pregnancy Resource Centers around the nation, has been on World Net Daily, and was interviewed on Immaculate Heart Radio.  Caroline also has served as the Vice President of Talk About Adoption™  (2015-2017).

She continues to share her story. Because mothers need to know that an unplanned pregnancy is not a plan for the end of their lives, but the opportunity to plan for greater success, not for themselves, but for their children. To be a birthmother takes great courage. And it gives great joy and hope, without sacrificing a mom's future, or a baby's life.

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